


Again, From The Start

by cedaris



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Other, Team Dynamics, markson is really lowkey really, old married couple!jjp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cedaris/pseuds/cedaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say endings are bittersweet-- but this one is just plain bitter.</p><p>(where jjp ends and got7 begins;  jaebum and jinyoung learn how to fall apart and fall back together.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Again, From The Start

**Author's Note:**

> i love jjp's relationship and i just really wanted to post this so it's unbeta-ed and proofread by a very tired me at 1am. comment if you spot mistakes!
> 
> also I'm back after a long while and this is my first GOT7 fic, so please R&R :) (and kudos would be nice)
> 
> have fun reading!

"Stay."

Jinyoung looks up at Jaebum from his position slumped over the couch. Jaebum is seated at the dining table, head in his hands, eyes closed and hair mussed from running his hands through it in frustration and anger and maybe sadness. Jinyoung doesn't know how he feels, but he knows must be in the same terrible state he is in. His voice had been quiet, loud in the oppressive silence of the room, and deafening in the walls of Jinyoung's heart. He glances up at the clock. Had it only been an hour ago, when they had been called to JYP's office and told that their careers were basically over? JJ Project isn't doing as well as we'd like it to, JYP had said, a false apology in his words. I'm afraid I'll have to put you guys on break.

They hadn't crumbled till they reached their dorm, and then it'd just been Jaebum yelling and cursing and running his tongue, punching the wall until Jinyoung held him back. He'd always had a short temper, and when it blew he was like a hurricane, destructive and uncaring in his rage.

"It's over," he'd cried, fingers dripping red. "We're over."

Afterwards, Jinyoung had tended to his bruised knuckles while he drowned himself in tears and hurt and self-blame. Jinyoung had tried to be a pillar for him, had forced his eyes to stay dry. 

It was how they worked. Where Jaebum burned, Jinyoung soothed, like cold water over a bad cut or hot tea after a long day. He had doused Jaebum's quick temper over and over and in return, Jaebum had been the one to teach him to hope and ignite his dreams. The two of them, they were like the push and pull of the tide, especially in their early JJ Project days, when Jaebum had still been too hot-headed and Jinyoung too cautious.

"Stay," Jaebum had said.

Jinyoung laughs.

"Like I could leave you behind."

~~~  
They go back to being trainees. Jaebum had spent most of his anger, and Jinyoung had mourned in his own quiet way. He had lain around in a daze for a few days, unfeeling, until he finally found himself crying with his arms looped around Jaebum's shoulders one night, defeated and regretful and all sorts of sad. They hadn't been good enough; they had failed, and now they were back to square one, idol hopefuls unsure of debut, as pathetic as the day they had stepped into JYPE with fluttering hearts and crushable dreams. He hated it.

They keep training, although now there's an aimlessness in their dance steps and vocal notes that hadn't been there before. Jaebum stops burning as bright, and Jinyoung watches him deflate and fold into himself, helpless but refusing to cry. He feels like he'd dragging him down sometimes, like a splash of water dousing out a brilliant flame, and he wonders if Jaebum would have still been in the loop of the music industry had he debuted with anyone else but Jinyoung.

He says as much once, and Jaebum stares at him like he's grown a second head; takes Jinyoung's hands and tells him he's so glad it was him, that he's never wanted it to be anyone else, and he'd do it all over again if he had to, just to be here with Jinyoung now. Jinyoung's in tears by the end of Jaebum's sentimental speech.

"I'm glad it was you too. I'm so glad you're here with me. We'll debut again, you hear me? We'll be back out there in no time." Jinyoung's voice is wobbly but he smiles, and the corners of his eyes wrinkle up, and Jaebum kisses him. 

It had been a barely-there touch of their lips, but they both draw back like they'd been burned. Jinyoung curses Jaebum's tendency for impulse and surprises, and curses his beating traitorous heart even more.

"That-that was- I'm sorry, it just happened-," Jaebum stutters and takes a step back, and Jinyoung decides, to hell with it.

He grabs a fistful of Jaebum's shirt (with Michael Jackson's face and the words "long live the King"on it, god, what a nerd) and seals their lips together firmly again. To hell with propriety, to hell with his jumping pulse, and to hell with Im Jaebum, with his sharp cheekbones and sharp eyes and sharp jawline, his messy hair and his rare wide smiles that show all his teeth and scrunch up his eyes in the most adorable way. Screw Im Jaebum. Jinyoung hated him so much.

When they pull back, Jinyoung's lips are red and puffy and Jaebum's staring at them, and he feels just a little smug. Their gazes lock and Jinyoung dares Jaebum to run away, counts down from ten in the most painfully slow way he can.

Jaebum lets out a long breath, and wraps his arms around Jinyoung's waist, leaning in for another kiss.  
~~~

They don't talk about it, not really. Things happen, and life moves them along too quickly for them to stop and consider their relationship. Mark and Jackson arrive, and suddenly their world is painted brighter, noisier with Jackson's excitement and Mark's shy smiles. There's Yugyeom and Bambam after a while, with their endless fights and arguments. JYP announces the six of them as a group set to debut in due time, named GOT7, and Jaebum would be the leader.

Even if JYP hadn't mentioned about needing to find a seventh member before they could debut, it wouldn't take a genius to figure that out from the ridiculously self-explanatory band name. And so they had to wait, and meanwhile Jaebum and Jinyoung find themselves suddenly in charge of four other kids with glass dreams and paper hearts. They tutor Mark, Jackson and Bambam in Korean, help Yugyeom with his schoolwork and vocal training. Jinyoung discovers that Jaebum is a responsible and fitting leader, and is secretly proud when he reminds the members to drink up and hydrate in the middle of dance practice, or when he tells them to sleep early and sleep well when they go back to the dorms. It's not just the two of them in there now; Jackson's countless black shirts almost stain everyone's laundry once, Mark's sweaters start hanging over furniture, Bambam's socks end up everywhere, and Yugyeom's pants are ever-present for unsuspecting souls to trip over in the hallway. 

And at night when the others are sound asleep, Jinyoung often finds himself snuggled up to Jaebum in his bed, and there's something wrong with this arrangement but he can't think of exactly what it is when he's sleepy and cosy in Jaebum's arms.  
~~~

Youngjae takes a long time to join them, and when he finally arrives, GOT7 gets kick-started on the road to debut. He's nervous and awkward and fidgety with only one month of training on his hands, but has a surprisingly powerful voice that lands him as the new main vocal of the team. He's a good kid, and Jinyoung tries not to hold grudges against him for being able to debut in such a short amount of time--- he must have had his own struggles getting here. Jaebum is the same way, and they take Youngjae under their wing and he quickly becomes their favourite dongsaeng; his loud, unrestrained laughter, his quiet determination and his humbleness all worm their way into Jinyoung's heart and make a home there, sinking roots in his veins and nestling in his heartstrings. 

When they show him to their dorm, Jaebum offers to room with Youngjae, out of his sense of responsibility as leader (and a fast-developing soft spot for the boy). Jinyoung watches as Youngjae breathes a sigh of relief and stops hovering unsurely in the doorway, stepping into the dorm with something almost akin to awe. Bambam and Yugyeom pop up, quick to show him around the rooms and eager to impress the newest addition to the maknae line. Jinyoung surveys the lively atmosphere with a soft smile, meeting Jaebum's eyes knowingly for a moment before they slide away to tell Youngjae to unpack in his room and put his stuff wherever. He waits, and eventually Jaebum comes over to loop an arm around his waist and guide him quietly to Jinyoung's room. 

Jaebum places a gentle kiss on Jinyoung's lips as soon as the door closes, and Jinyoung can't help but grin into his lips. His arms slide around Jaebum's neck and Jaebum's around his waist, and he feels blissful here, cocooned in Jaebum's warmth, away from the madness ensuing outside of his door. He loves the members, he does, but he misses the too-big dorm for the two of them, heads in the clouds and feet even further, stars in their eyes before they dimmed. They still haven't figured out what this is, between them, and he knows Jaebum doesn't want to risk a relationship right before debut. So Jinyoung's content with Jaebum's warmth and hugs and kisses; he had known, the moment he'd stepped into the JYP auditions, that he'd be throwing away all chances at a normal life; he didn't know else he expected, honestly, when he signed up for a flashy boyband guaranteed to be forgotten and disbanded in 10 years or less. Jinyoung feels a pang in his heart; that had been how JJ Project had ended.

But Jaebum no longer tastes like burned dreams and withered hopes; Jinyoung can feel new beginnings and never-endings in the smile he presses into Jinyoung's mouth. Thank god, he thinks, for second chances.

Jinyoung ends up falling asleep, heart beating against Jaebum's and arms tangled together. He wakes up to Bambam's scandalised shrieking and Yugyeom's protests; Jackson is busying himself with snapping as many photos as he can while Mark smirks knowingly at them. And Youngjae, bless his heart, is asking confused questions and asking Jaebum if he wants to sleep here instead because he's fine with rooming alone, really, if it was too much bother...

Jinyoung sighs, and extricates himself from Jaebum's koala-like grip. Time to deal with the kids again.  
~~~

"So we debut tomorrow--- or, well, today, since it's 1am," Jaebum cards a hand through sweaty bangs and glances round at the members. Yugyeom looks on the verge of tears, while Bambam rubs his shoulder comfortingly and tries to smile; Youngjae is staring unfocused at the smooth hardwood floor of the dance studio, disbelieving. Mark is quiet, but the smile he shares with Jackson is relieved, tired, and excited.

And Jinyoung is grinning up at him, eyes curved into crescents and lips stretched wide, and Jaebum finds surety in his gaze. We'll do it this time. We'll reach the top and we're going to stay there.

"We've been practising hard for the last 7 months, and everything is as perfect as it's going to get. Get some rest tonight, you'll need it tomorrow."

And years before, Jaebum would never have admitted this, would have let his eyes turn to ice and the words die on his tongue in a heavy sigh.

"I'm proud of all of you. I'm so glad I met all of you. Thank you for starting this journey with me."

He gets attacked by the maknaes for that, Yugyeom and Bambam holding on tearfully to their leader's waist and wailing nonsense about him practically being their father and raising them well, and Jinyoung's eyes crinkle up in mirth.

~~~  
That night, Jaebum tells Youngjae he can have the bed to himself and it takes a beat before Youngjae is suddenly all winks and sly smiles, shooting furtive glances at Jinyoung. Of course, Youngjae being Youngjae, he isn't very discreet about it and Jinyoung follows the sound of muffled teasing laughter to find a very flustered Jaebum with Youngjae in a headlock and his hand over his mouth. His grip goes momentarily slack when he catches sight of Jinyoung and Youngjae takes the chance to slip out of his vice-like clutch and escape into the hallway, probably on the way to spill all of Jaebum's dirtiest secrets to Bambam and Yugyeom. Jaebum makes a pitifully weak grab at the air where Youngjae had just been and turns to Jinyoung despairingly. Jinyoung giggles and kisses him affectionately on the cheek, only to hear a chorus of groans and gagging noises from the hallway. He turns, and Yugyeom and Youngjae are comically piled almost on top of each other around the corner, wide-eyed, while Bambam mimes puking into the plant beside them. 

“Mom and Dad are so gross,” Yugyeom mutters under his breath to Youngjae, who nods seriosuly in complete agreement. Jaebum sighs deeply and pulls Jinyoung along by the arm to his room, flipping the younger boys off over their synchronised shrieks of “stay safe!” And “don’t be too loud, I don’t want to be scarred at a young age!”. 

Contrary to the maknae line’s belief (Jaebum wonders grumpily when cute, shy, innocent Youngjae had joined their ranks and been converted by the two little demons), he and Jinyoung don’t do anything at all that night except talk about their past and their present and their future, and fall asleep tangled up in each other and each other’s heartstrings.

“I asked you to stay, once. Do you remember? Just after that horrible meeting.”

“Yeah, well, here I am.”

“I didn’t know what I meant, at the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I wanted you to stay at JYP, or stay in JJ Project, or something. I don't know.”

“So what did you mean?”

“That I just wanted you to stay with me.”

~~~~~  
Their debut stage goes as smoothly as it could have with their nerves thrumming in their veins and hearts almost beating out of their chests. Mark and Jackson pull off their stunts flawlessly, Youngjae’s voice is ridiculously stable, Yugyeom and Bambam make the fans melt, and no one gets injured. Jaebum and Jinyoung steal the show, taking the centre for dance formations and vocals. They pour years of hard work, blood, sweat and tears into their performance, remembering moments huddled in the practice room cursing their inadequacy and nights considering the plausibility of throwing in the towel and walking right out of JYP. 

That’s all over now, Jinyoung thinks. This is his future, their future, another chance to stand in the harsh glow of spotlights and flashing neon signs.  
Backstage, Jaebum laces his fingers with Jinyoung’s in the privacy of their changing room, finding a moment of solace and comfort in each other before Yugyeom walks in and starts screaming about Public Displays of Affection and how he was too young for this. Jinyoung only chuckles and reminds the younger ones to sleep early when they get back to the dorm, ever the annoyingly caring parental figure to boys who had spent their childhood playing music instead of playing games, skipping meals to train instead of skipping home from school. Jaebum knew, no matter how much they complained about Jinyoung’s nagging at home, that they secretly loved him very much and would go to the ends of the earth for him. He wonders when he started thinking of the crammed dormitory and six obnoxious, nosy boys as his home, when the shoes haphazardly thrown across the doormat became endearing instead of annoying, and when seven alarm clocks going off at the same time in the morning became routine. When he started to love the crinkles around Jinyoung’s eyes, quiet mornings drinking disgusting instant coffee with Jinyoung at the counter, and nights no longer alone with Jinyoung across the hall and the low breathing of seven people deep in sleep.

They’d crashed and burned once, him and Jinyoung, and they had built themselves back up from the ashes, finding warmth and love in each other and in their members, their once too-large-for-two dorm now filled with seven lives intertwined in the most intricate way, and he’s grateful.

Especially for Jinyoung, for all the years he stayed by his side, for the years after that he’d be with him still.

He holds up the JJ Project handsign contemplatively-- forefinger and middle finger facing up, thumb extended to the side-- and turns it downwards to form the number seven.

**Author's Note:**

> i think...you can tell i'm a youngjae stan because once he appeared it spiralled down into "everyone loves youngjae" word vomit. i love choi youngjae my favourite ball of sunshine :')
> 
> but anyway I hope you enjoyed that and it lived up to expectations! (And I hope no one was OOC in this)
> 
> boop the kudos button and leave some comments! till next time :) 
> 
> [I have a tumblr come give me prompts and talk to me](http://www.cedaris.tumblr.com)


End file.
